I remember the night like it was yesterday. It was 8pm on April 24th, 2016, when the contractions began with my first child. My heart was full of hope and expectation—I had envisioned a natural, beautiful birth, and everything seemed to be going according to plan through the night. By 8am the next morning, I was in the hospital, and the contractions were intensifying. But there was one problem: I wasn’t dilating.
By lunchtime, I was in deep labour—contractions coming one after the other—but still, no progress. The doctor gently suggested a C-section. I said no. I was determined. When he left the room, my husband asked why I was refusing, I answered honestly: “I will be disappointed in God.”
Hours passed. By 7pm, I was completely exhausted after nearly 24 hours of labour. The doctor told me it was time. He opened me up—and as he brought out my baby boy, he looked at me and said, “No wonder he didn’t come out. The umbilical cord is wrapped twice around his neck.”
In that moment, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart: “May your first lesson of motherhood be to let go of control and trust Me.”
That one whisper has shaped every day of my motherhood since.
Today, I’m a wife, a mum of three beautiful children, and alongside my husband, I help lead a children’s village, LIV Village, that is home to 170 children—complete with a school, a clinic, therapy services, training programs, and businesses. I also run a community project to create jobs for women by making beautiful African products. People often ask, “How do you do all of this? How do you find rhythm in so much chaos?” The truth? I don’t have a secret formula. I don’t have it all figured out. But I’ve learned one thing: rhythm is not about control. It’s about surrender. It’s a walk of faith.
You might be reading this and struggling with control. May I encourage you with four ways we as mums can learn to let go of control and walk in faith with the Lord:
- Start Your Day With Surrender, Not Strategy
I am a planner. I have a monthly planning board for the whole family as you come into my house with a weekly planner. I have a list for EVERYTHING, including a strategy on how we going to do it. But before the to-do lists and school drop-offs begin, my first task of the day is time at His Feet to surrender the day to God. Motherhood often feels like a battle of plans versus surprises and all the curve balls. Begin each day in word and prayer and by saying, “Lord, I give You this day—interrupt it as You will. I let go of control and I trust YOU.”
When we start with surrender, we move from anxiety to anticipation. We begin to see interruptions not as obstacles, but as divine appointments. We become less reactive and more responsive, because we’ve already anchored our hearts in the presence of God before the demands of the world hit us.
Surrendering daily doesn’t mean the day will be perfect—it means we’ll be grounded. And in that, we find freedom—not in having it all figured out, but in walking hand-in-hand with the One who already has.
- Choose Progress Over Perfection
Perfection is a silent thief in motherhood. It steals our joy, our peace, and our ability to be present. We want to be the mum who has it all together—the one with the clean house, the balanced meals, the peaceful bedtime routine, the well-mannered children, and the thriving marriage. But deep down, we know that image isn’t real—it’s exhausting and unattainable.
Letting go of control means letting go of the need to be perfect. God isn’t asking us to get everything right; He’s asking us to keep walking, to keep showing up, to keep choosing love when we feel empty, and grace when we feel undone.
When we obsess over perfection, we parent out of fear: fear of messing up, fear of judgment, fear of not being enough. But when we embrace progress, we parent from a place of trust. Trust that God is at work in us and in our children—even when the day ends in tears and toys are still on the floor.
Remember, your children don’t need a perfect mum. They need a present one. One who is growing, healing, learning, and relying on Jesus every step of the way.
- Trust God With Their Story
One of the hardest parts of motherhood is realizing that our children are not our own—they are His. They are ours to steward. We can guide them, teach them, love them—but we cannot write their story.
Trusting God with our children’s story is one of the most sacred acts of surrender. It means releasing the need to script their lives, and instead, inviting God to author every chapter—even the ones we wouldn’t have written ourselves.
We may want a straight path for them, but God often uses winding roads to shape character, deepen faith, and draw them closer to Him. Trusting Him means believing that even when things don’t go “according to plan,” they are still going according to His plan.
Maybe your child is struggling in school, or walking through anxiety, or pushing against everything you’ve taught them. Maybe you’re watching them wrestle with identity, faith, or friendships. And everything in you wants to fix it—right now. But sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is kneel beside their bed, whisper their name in prayer, and entrust their heart to the One who formed it.
- Make Room for Real Moments
Put down your phone. Close the Laptop. And take in what matters most. In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to become consumed by what’s urgent and miss what’s eternal. We have a rule in our house that my husband and I must always be home 4pm. And this is when we make room for real moments.
Making room for real moments means loosening our grip on the schedule to embrace the sacred interruptions. It means choosing eye contact over the urge to check another message. It means letting the dishes wait so you can sit in the sunlight and read that same storybook for the tenth time. It means giving yourself permission to just be with your children—and with God—in the ordinary.
These are the moments that root us. These are the moments that become the rhythm in the chaos. And often, it’s in these real moments that God speaks the loudest. Not in the noise, but in the stillness. Not in the grand, but in the gentle. He meets us in the mundane and reminds us that this—right here—is holy ground.
You don’t need to be a perfect mother. You just need to be present. Because when you show up—heart open, spirit surrendered—that’s where grace flows and rhythm returns.
So pause. Breathe. Look around. God is here, and so are the moments that truly matter.
