I am often referred to as an “instant mom,” “adoptive mom,” “heart mom,” or “specially chosen mom” …. One thing that remains consistent in all these descriptions is the word ‘mom’.
I am a mom!
Our journey began with a different “normal” – a challenge many couples face today. Infertility. This journey is emotionally taxing on individuals, couples,
and families. But we knew that we desperately wanted to be parents, no matter where the road led us.
Girls often grow up with a particular picture: falling in love with their dream partner, having the most exquisite wedding day, and then, in time, having the most perfectly fitting children. It is so important to teach your little girls that that dream can still come true, but it can look different. Teach them about all the ways that are “normal” to become a mom and a family, so that they will one day be “okay” if they face this.
Our journey took the off-ramp to adoption. “It happened in a second, quickly, and without allowing any time to prepare.”
I didn’t dream and prepared for my dearest Joshua for nine months. We didn’t have a pregnancy test or a gender reveal. There was no “faf”, no beautiful baby room, not even a nappy bag! Instead, he was instantly put in our arms as a four-month-old baby. Yes, our adoption journey was totally different from the “prescribed” process.
He was the most beautiful baby in the world, with his soft and sweet dark brown eyes. His little baby sounds and soft, squishy cheeks stole our hearts in a second. We were head over heels in love! God filled our hearts with so much joy and love.
But we were also scared, uncertain, and faced rejection. Those feelings are imprinted in my mind. We felt “conditional” love in a way no one should ever. Some people will only love you if you fit into their box. The devil came to steal our joy.
I faced “baby blues,” the silent thief who comes to steal a mother’s joy, purpose, and will to live. God never left me; we had a beautiful journey until I could ‘settle in’ my purpose of being Joshua’s mom.
The day God gave me Josh, He knew that He and I would walk a lifelong journey of ultimate trust in the unknown. He knew we would walk at times where I would just see one set of footprints, and that was His because I could not walk anymore, and He carried me.
This blog will be about my unique journey in parenting and how I live by the grace of God alone.
