In a world of information overload, parents have a wealth of knowledge at their disposal. While the value of this is enormous, it also comes with potential downfalls. In today’s parenting world, parents are constantly turning to the outside world for guidance, and have started losing the ability to rely on their own innate ability to parent their child. Parents remain the real experts of their children, and while we can all use some guidance and encouragement along the way, I hope that you recognize your unique ability to parent your child in the way they need it. Trust your gut, follow your intuition. There is no real quick fix in the parenting world, the only thing that matters is you and your child, and the beautiful relationship you have.

The single most important factor in determining a child’s trajectory, is the attachment relationship with their parent(s). If we truly understanding the role of attachment, parents would quickly realize that this is where our time, energy and efforts should be focused. When we invest in the relationship with our child, we are investing in them, and they will flourish as a result of it.

So what exactly is attachment-based parenting?

Attachment-based parenting is more than just a style; it’s a commitment to nurturing strong emotional bonds that foster a child’s growth and development. By prioritizing responsiveness, emotional availability, and consistent routines and boundaries, parents can lay the groundwork for their children’s emotional health and interpersonal skills. In a world that can sometimes feel chaotic, creating secure attachments is a powerful way to instil confidence and resilience in our kids.

Why is attachment so important?

When we understand that the key to our child’s successful emotional development lies primarily in the attachment relationship, we can recognize the value of attachment. Ensuring that you have a secure attachment relationship with your child sets them up to be more secure, confident, and emotionally healthy individuals. Children who experience secure attachment relationships are likely to feel safe and understood. They are more likely to foster independence, and ultimately to explore their environment. Securely attached children are able to face challenges with confidence. Securely attached children are also more likely to form healthier social relationships with their peers. They learn to experience emotions more effectively, and are able to empathize with others. Securely attached children show the benefit of the strong relationship even when it comes to academic and mental health outcomes. The research suggests a significant relationship between securely attached children and greater developmental outcomes. Lastly, these children are also more likely to have better self-images and greater confidence in their own identity.

How can I implement this approach to attachment?

Here are 6 easy steps to implement in your home that will enhance your relationship with your child:

• Practice Active Listening : When your child speaks, give them your full attention. This demonstrates that their thoughts and feelings are valued.
• Be Emotionally Present : Engage with your child on an emotional level. Share in their joys and support them in their struggles.
• Create a safe space : Encourage open communication by creating an environment where your child feels safe expressing themselves without fear of judgement.
• Model Healthy Relationships : Demonstrate positive interaction with others. Show them that it is okay to feel all emotions (happy, angry, sad, disappointed, proud etc) and how to model repair in a relationship.
• Prioritize quality time : Remember, it is the quality of the time that counts, not the quantity. Ensure you are setting time for small moments of one on one interaction in a day.

Attachment is not something we simply ‘do’ every single day, it is in every interaction with our children. Each day is an opportunity to build this incredibly strong, solid and sturdy bond. Like a foundation of a house, we are working towards building something solid, something that can withstand any storm. This does not happen overnight, but rather, brick by brick, slowly building something unwavering.